"Normalizing"

Good morning! Another new day! I woke up bright and early again warm and cozy in bed, bubbling over with ideas and inspirations. By now some of the bubbling excitement has simmered down after a bit of struggling to put photos into this blog. My brain still has problems sorting that out and also with time schedules and for some reason I'm having a bit of trouble focussing on print on the computer screen,- not sure whether it's my eyes/brain or the computer. O well, I can still type and I managed to insert a few pictures ... so those are great blessings for me at this point!

I've been introduced to a new (nursing?) term by Alida and Melanie. They call it "normalizing". The other day at the hospital Alida said, "OK, Mom, it's time to get out of bed, time to get your street clothes on." So off to the shower, a shampoo, street clothes on, walk up and down the hall I went. It felt great! and so much better than lying around being "sick" all day. What a difference! So last night we had another "normalizing" event - girls' night out to IKEA with Rosemary and Alida. We shopped (actually not normal for me) together for a few odds and ends for the house. It's great to have their help with ideas! And, along with a lot of the other shoppers, we sat around visiting with icecream cones on our way out of the stop. It felt so good to be out! It felt so normal!

I'm finding that it's very easy to get totally self-absorbed in this experience. I'm getting so much love, attention, protection, and support. But on Thursday night I suddenly felt a shift in my attitude. I need to get beyond myself. It's not all about me. The whole family is affected. They need to get on with their lives too. There are lots of other people coping with big stuff, but their lives all go on (more or less) in some way or another. And so this "normalizing" is helpful in coping day by day. I'm amazed at how helpful it is to have normal things to do that keep you going every day. So the time out with the girls in a car, in a store, was great! When we started planning this event, and how I would meet up with the girls, at first all kinds of obstacles started popping up. It's not safe for me to drive, Gerard is not comfortable with me going out on my own, especially by subway, so was this going to work? Yes, it's going to work! We're going to make it work! And we did! It was great!

I never realized how much the last month or so has affected my self confidence. I didn't trust myself to do anything anymore. I was bumping into things, breaking and spilling things, getting lost, not trusting my own judgment anymore. I've been following Gerard around like a little kid, looking to him for decisions, letting him tell me what needs to be done next and how things should be. And I was letting it be that way. It felt safe. So I'm sensing a shift. It feels a lot better.

Today we start merging our two families for a time!. Henry and Melanie are soing to start moving some of their clothes and things over today. Yesterday Gerard set up a TV sitting area in the "playroom" downstairs, cleared some space in the front closet, and we bought a few odds and ends at IKEA. Today we're off for some groceries, door hooks and bars for extra towels and clothes. We're so excited! Looking forward to another great day!