Have You Seen or Heard about...

Here are some interesting things that I've seen or heard about lately...

1. Triangle Puzzle:  This morning we ran across this puzzle in progress at the cancer centre.  The completed picture is in the shape of a triangle and so are all the pieces.  We'd never seen anything like it.  Could be a challenging puzzle to make because most of the pieces are almost the same shape.

2.  Bird Chase pilot project at Bathurst Station:  I just heard on the radio today that some of Toronto's subway stations have been plagued by pigeons that mess up the place.  So, as a pilot project, the transit system has installed a device that emits screechy, squawky pigeon distress sounds every 10 minutes for 2 minutes at a time, at the Bathurst Station.  And it has actually helped to move the pigeons out of the station.  So the next time you're there and it sounds like pigeons are being tortured inside the station, you'll know what's going on. I'm tempted to go there to hear it for myself.

3.  Last week we were stopped behind this truck at a traffic light. Grease Trap Service?  A big tanker?  Big hoses. We were wondering what this truck was all about. So when we got home I googled Organic Resource and sure enough!  These vacuum trucks have been going around to restaurants, grocery stores and other food industry customers on a regular schedule to vacuum grease, used cooking oil, and other cooking residuals from grease traps, for 25 years - and I've never heard of this before.  

 

The fluids are spun off and the remaining slurry is transported to specialized recycling plants to produce biogas and generate clean renewable energy.  It plays a big role in landfill waste diversion and wastewater treatment.  Very interesting!  And I learned all this just because we happened to be standing behind this truck at a traffic light.

Around the House ...

The results of Saturday morning's cooking, while listening to the garden show, are an interesting reflection of our very different food preferences. I usually ask Gerard if there's anything he'd like me to prepare so we can put some extra servings in the freezer for another day. His choice was the sweet potato sausage bake in the white bowl. And this week there was a recipe in the Metro paper for quinoa spinach salad that caught my eye. It called for lots of ingredients that Gerard is not fond of, but I made it anyway,  just for me.  Both of them were delicious in very different ways.

quinoa spinach salad and sweet potato sausage bake

 

And here is a little update on my "chemo garden".  The green bean plants are about eight inches high.  The basil is slowly but surely coming along, and the parsley seeds are just starting to show signs of sprouting today, after just sitting there for over two weeks already. 

 



my "chemo garden" - green beans, basil, and parsley 

 

This morning I started exercising again and then vacuumed the basement.  I think maybe that's one of the reasons I've been so down lately; haven't done any exercise for a long time because the yoga was aggravating some hip problems - which have cleared up since.  Getting that blood circulating and releasing those endorphins felt great!  But wow, am I ever out of shape!

 

We'll be getting up bright and early in the morning to be at the hospital for an MRI at 6 a.m.!  This is to monitor the progress of the chemo now that we're at the halfway mark with the treatments.

Cabin Fever vs. Chemo Side Effects

Considering it's about 8 to 10 days after my last chemo treatment, we were expecting me to hit the predictable low energy stretch with various chemo side effects this week.  But nothing has happened except that I've been experiencing "cabin fever".  At times my limited energy or low immunity prevent me from going out and then sometimes I could just scream - I get so frustrated by feeling isolated! There are moments when I just HAVE to get out of the house to do something or go somewhere!  And if I don't, I feel almost immobilized and trapped, to the point where I can't think of what to do with myself, and just sit or lie there doing nothing at all.

So since Wednesday we've tried to plan a little outing each day and it has resulted in my motivation and creativity coming back.  On Wednesday we took a half hour drive down to East York to see Mark and Rosemary's new house.  Yes, they are now proud and excited homeowners and will take possession in early April.  Since we don't know that area of Toronto at all we took some time to explore their new neighbourhood (Victoria Park/Kingston Road).  Very exciting!

Mark and Rosemary's new semi-detached home (white door is their half)

 

On Thursday we watched Little Oscar for the morning.  Then we got a call regarding an MRI appointment and how I have to be pre-medicated for that because I once had an allergic reaction to the contrast dye.  I was so frustrated by being controlled by the medical system and its protocols and, by extension, by my independence and freedom being so restricted these days, that I told Gerard I was going out all by myself to wherever and would be back in a few hours.  And that's what I did - just took off, went for a long walk, wandered around, and worked it out of my system. 

 

love the rustic feel of Riverdale Farm!

 

Yesterday we went down to Riverdale Farm.  I love this rustic little farm right in the city - an example of a small Ontario farm between 1880 and 1920. I had imagined coming out from the cold, into the warm barn, and seeing lots of animals.  Well, the barn wasn't all that warm and outside was even colder. Many of the animals were outside in the cold, huddled in the straw near their shelters.  Oh well, we'll have to come back in the spring when it's more comfortable out and when there are usually lots of baby animals too. 

 



All these little outings have boosted my spirits tremendously.  My mind has suddenly come alive again.  I've been waking up in the morning with plans for the day.  I've been purging stuff from bookcases filled with things we never use.  I've been baking and cooking.  And actually, in hindsight, having cabin fever is not such a bad alternative to the chemo side effects I had expected, but getting out and feeling like part of the rest of the world out there feels even better! 

Little Oscar's News

On Sunday afternoon we got together with the family for Family Day. As we arrived, Little Oscar was still in bed having a nap, but when he got up his shirt stirred up a lot of excitement in the family. 

Oscar's very special shirt

Yes, L'il Oscar is going to be a big brother in September, just a couple of weeks before his second birthday!  Today we saw the first ultrasound pictures.  Amazing!  So now we are looking forward to the arrival of two little ones; Mark and Rosemary's first one at the end of July and Henry and Melanie's second one in September! 

Thank you, Lord! 

Halfway through Chemo Treatments!

Thursday and yesterday's chemo treatments went smoothly so we're already halfway through the series of six chemo rounds! On Thursday I came home tired and rather depressed about how many people have cancer. This clinic alone services hundreds of patients per day! Then on Friday I felt so blessed that compared to the chemo side effects experienced by many of the people I met, mine are once again "a walk in the park!"

However, Gerard was prepared that I might be feeling down again on Friday, so surprised me with two big bouquets of flowers to cheer me and the place up! It reminded me of my Oma's place. In her later years she always had fresh flowers in her apartment. She would buy them at the market along with her produce every Thursday.
 

So now for the next few days I'm taking full advantage of the extra steroid energy I have because of the follow-up anti-nausea pills that I'll be on until Wednesday.  I've been getting some little projects "off the back burner" today, plan to attend our small group tonight, and tomorrow we're having a get-together with the kids in honour of Family Day on Monday.  It feels great to have some get-up-and-go again.  At the same time I'm relaxed enough to nap and sleep well at night. So that's perfect!

National Flag of Canada Day on Friday

Our flag is standing by the front door, ready to go out tomorrow morning in honour of National Flag of Canada Day tomorrow (Friday).  I love the Canadian flag!  Whenever I see it, especially outside of Canada, I experience a feeling that's hard to describe.  It symbolizes "home" for me, even though I was not born in Canada.  I feel privileged and blessed to be a Canadian citizen living in this beautiful country of peace and freedom.  So tomorrow we will be flying our Canadian flag all day!

 

Did you know...  *based on quotes from the North York Mirror, Feb.7, 2013 and Wikipedia

- that February the 15th was first declared National Flag of Canada Day in 1965?  and that is the day our red and white maple leaf flag was first raised over Parliament Hill in Ottawa and also in many communities across Canada?

- that when the Canadian flag flies along with the flags of the 10 provinces and three territories, the flags of the provinces and territories follow in the order that they entered Confederation?

- that red and white were proclaimed Canada's official colours in the proclamation of the Royal Arms of Canada in 1921 by King George V? 

- that the maple leaf has been used as an emblem in Canada since the eighteenth century? It has often served to distinguish Canadians abroad, as was the case with Canada's first official Oympians in 1904?

- that Dr. George Stanley, a professor at Royal Military College in Kingston, Ontario in 1964 suggested a red and white single maple leaf design for the flag because it could be seen clearly from a distance? 

- that the Canadian flag is twice as long as it is wide?  The white square and its maple leaf make up half the surface of the flag, equal to the two red bars combined? 

 

So, time to get out your flags and fly them proudly on National Flag of Canada Day! 

 

P.S.  This post was written and published a little prematurely on steroid energy after my first day of chemo of round three.  There won't be time to write and post this on Friday morning (Flag Day) because we'll be heading out to the cancer clinic early again for another chemo treatment. 

Ash Wednesday

We just got back from our Ash Wednesday service.  Ash Wednesday is the beginning of 40 days (not counting Sundays) of Lent; a time of prayer, fasting, and repentance in preparation for Easter.  A question given for us to consider:  "Have you prayed Psalm 51 from your heart?" 

Here are some familiar parts of Psalm 51:
1-2 Have mercy on me, O God, according to your unfailing love;
according to your great compassion blot out my transgressions.
Wash away all my iniquity and cleanse me from my sin.
10-11  Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.
Do not cast me from your presence or take your Holy Spirit from me.
Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me. 

orchid back in bloom for third year in a row!

 

Today felt like the first day I was really back on my feet after some days of extreme chemo fatigue and then a bit of an unsettled stomach.  So it was great to wake up this morning to a day of relative energy and optimism.  We went for a tutorial on using my new cell phone, where we picked up some helpful information.  I've been determined not to get left behind with all this new technology, but I'm getting the feeling that I'm already behind.  Oh well... doing my best to keep up at least a little bit.

 

Tomorrow is the beginning of my third round of chemo, scheduled for Thursday and Friday morning. For the first time I'm looking forward to the steroid energy and happiness that I'll hopefully experience while on the steroid anti-nausea pills for the next five days!  After feeling rather down the last few weeks, I can't wait to live with a more positive outlook on life in general for a while. 

 

Thank you for your continued prayers for the effectiveness of the chemo! 

Where Does My Help Come From?

My help comes from the Lord...  That's what I know and believe, but... sometimes the Lord seems hard to find.  I've been down for a couple of days with some kind of stomach flu that's given me the runs. 

So upset stomach = no food = low energy = staying away from people thinking it might be contageous = feeling kind of depressed. Out the window goes all my wonderful advice to myself and others and seemingly out the window goes my assurance that my help and hope come from the Lord.

dried hydrangeas, sedums and black-eyed susans 

 

I find it upsetting that I can be so easily swayed by circumstances like an upset stomach and a low energy level.  How can that throw me off balance so easily?  How do others who are housebound or ill, not just for a few days, but sometimes years at a time, keep their focus and sense of purpose?  I've been thinking about people like that a lot the last few days. 

 

My stomach has started to settle down today, and by gradually introducing some food, my energy is starting to come back.  We went outside to enjoy the sun and snow for a little while this afternoon.  I just love the look of the dried hydrangeas, sedums and black-eyed susans in the snow!  Wish I could have taken a closer-up picture, but I didn't want to spoil the beautiful undisturbed snow of the front lawn by trampling on it and my camera couldn't zoom in any closer. 

 

our 50-something year old neighbour's front yard snow fort in progress

 

And then we had a look across the street where our neighbour is once again taking advantage of a big  snowfall, to have some fun in the snow - building a fort.  We just love watching him out there.  He's like a big kid, playing in the snow.  Great entertainment for us!  



The Big Snow Storm

The talk of our town is yesterday's big snow storm.  We haven't seen a good old fashioned snowfall like this for about five years!  It was great being out there shovelling on Thursday night, trying to keep up with the snow, but it got beyond us on Friday morning.  A generous neighbour came over with his snow blower and cleared out most of our driveway for us.

There are so many days when we don't need to go anywhere, but wouldn't you know it, we had our monthly appointment with the oncologist yesterday. Getting there was quite the challenge and took us about four times longer than it usually does.  We had trouble negotiating one long slow hill on York Mills, as did many others.  We actually saw eight city busses all in a row, pulled off to the side of the road because they couldn't manage the hill.

We were just hoping that after all our efforts, the doctor would be able to make it to the clinic, rather than also being stuck in traffic somewhere.  And he was!  And for the first time ever, we saw him before the actual time of the appointment.  Probably we took the place of others who were late or unable to make it at all. 

  north on Bayview

 

The drive home looked more like the route up to a ski resort up north, than a drive right in the city!

 

view from our living room window

 

I've been spending most of today in bed or on the couch, so haven't had a chance to get out there to enjoy the snow firsthand.  But here's the view from our living room window.  The piles out there are unbelievable and it looks beautiful; a lot more beautiful from the safety of our house today than from the centre of the traffic jam yesterday!

 

a little preview of spring contrasting with a picture of full-blown winter

 

And here is a picture to update you on the progress of our green beans.  Even though growing green beans indoors isn't the most productive, they are ever so rewarding to grow because you see instant results. 





Our Thursday Visit

Today we made our traditional Thursday visit to spend the morning with little Oscar.  I was afraid he might play strange after not seeing us for three weeks, but he welcomed us with great big smiles and obvously had not forgotten us.  We noticed lots of changes since the last time we saw him.

It is amazing how quickly little kids learn things. We especially noticed his language development. When Gerard read books with him and mentioned certain items on the page, Oscar pointed to the right picture or rubbed the right texture on the page. He also follows instructions and is on the verge of saying words. Right now they kind of sound like words, but we're not really sure what he's saying.

gradually transitioning from a sippy cup to a regular cup

 

When I was lying on the couch resting, he came over, nuzzled my face with his nose and gave me kisses.  So cute!  And so lovable! Tempted to take him home with me!

Around the House

Just a few things to show you around our house...

One of my favourite things to do on the first day of each month is to flip this calendar to see what the new picture is. I've been getting one of these "Bygone Days" calendars by Pine Ridge Art for many, many years for my birthday. Each year there is that familiar-looking birthday gift, and each year I'm equally thrilled to receive it.
 

Ta-da!  Here's February's picture!

 

And this is what our dining room table has looked like for the last three weeks.  One puzzle was barely done before the next 1,000 pieces got spilled out onto the table.

 

 our dining room table: jig saw puzzle central  

 

And here I was all packed and ready to go the hospital last night, and then didn't end up going after all.  Gerard was barely out the door to go see "The Hobbit" with Alida, when I found out I had a fever.  We've been told that if the fever is up to 38.5 Celsius, to come to emergency immediately.  If it reaches 38.3 then wait another hour.  If it's still 38.3 or higher after an hour, come to emergency.  Then you get put on IV antibiotics and have to stay for three days!    

 

 all packed up and ready to go to the hospital

 

I really did not want to end up at the hospital, and surely did not want to interrupt Gerard's outing with our daughter.  All I did for the next two hours was check my temperature, drink a lot, send a lot of unspoken prayers heavenward, and pack my bags (while I could take my time to think about what to take) just in case we would have to go as soon as Gerard came home.

 

Well, my temperature gradually came down and I enjoyed my own bed last night.  By now the bags are mostly unpacked and I'm glad to be at home. 

Wet Umbrella Bags?

This was an interesting surprise I ran across today...   Have you ever seen anything like this before? This was a first for me!

wet umbrella bags

At the entrance of the mall was this rack with bags.  "Please help keep our lobby floors dry.  Use our Complimentary Wet Umbrella Bags."

Re-focussed by An Inspiring and Happy Day

Today was an inspiring and happy day!  I woke up with some energy and then I noticed that the beans are starting to come up!   I stayed home from church this morning. Right now my immune system is probably at it's lowest in this cycle of treatment so I wanted to avoid the crowd of coughing and hacking people in the enclosed space of the auditorium at church.  Instead, I watched Peoples Church of Toronto on TV at home.

sample for a banner project in honour of our church's 50th anniversary

Dr. Charles Price asked, "What do you do when hostility or opposition comes your way?"  His message was based on the story of Nehemiah rebuilding the walls of Jerusalem.  What did they do when they encountered opposition from both external and internal sources?  1. They prayed. Prayer is expressing dependence on God (Neh. 4:4). 2. They prevented the enemy from defeating them by arming themselves and posting guards day and night (Neh. 4:9, 16-17).  3.  They persevered; they took the enemy seriously, wore protection, and continued, not allowing themselves to be distracted. 

He then connected what Paul taught in Philippians 4:6-7 to what Nehemiah did.  This passage starts out with anxiety and ends with peace:
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.  Phil.4:6-7

This was a good reminder for me.  Yes, I have been tired, but I also got distracted and discouraged.  I did not keep my eyes on God.  Watching this church service on TV helped me to re-focus.

4-yr-old learning to ski near new ski lift at Earl Bales Park

 

And then this afternoon we took a quick "mini vacation".  We were only away from home for an hour-and-a-half at the most, but it felt like a vacation far away at a ski resort.  We went to check out the new ski lift that I've been reading about in our local paper.  I also enjoy watching the little 4-year-olds learn to ski and watching people sail off the ski lift chairs when they get to the top of the hill. 

 

We walked along a level trail through the woods in the upper level of the park.  It felt so-o-o-o good to get a bit of exercise out in the fresh air in the forest!  I was feeling all bubbly excited and happy out there!  What a wonderful short outing!  

 

And then this evening I did go to church.  It's easy to sit off by myself there a bit because it's just a small group in the evening service.  We read Scripture (Luke 5), had song and prayer requests, and were reminded that the book of Luke often tells of Jesus withdrawing to lonely places to pray.  That's how Jesus was empowered for his ministry of teaching, preaching, and healing. 

 

So, all in all an inspiring and happy day in which I got a chance to re-focus. 

What's Happening around Our House...

Well, what just happened around our house is that I somehow lost the whole post I just wrote..!

Before that happened, I told you that there wasn't a whole lot happening around our house this week.  I have slept through almost all of the last three days.  Wow, I've never experienced fatigue like this before! but the oncology nurse tells us it's normal with this chemo. "Don't fight it.  Give your body the rest it needs.  Go with the flow."

It has been my experience that having the following six components in a day makes me feel healthy and happy: enough rest, healthy food, social contact, keeping my eyes on God, exercise, and getting outside.  However, when I wake up feeling like a rag doll, with no inner strength or motivation whatsoever, it's hard to get up off the couch to do anything.  It's tempting to stay inside, skip the devotions and the exercise.  And then I catch myself in a vicious cycle;  tired, no exercise, no fresh air, tired, no devotions, wrong perspective on life, no social contact, depression... It feels easier to avoid life by staying on the couch and sleeping the day away.

I know getting lots of rest is good at this time of the chemo cycle and so I'm allowing myself lots of time to rest.  But sleeping the whole day away is not so good for me either.

  first round of chemo planting - basil is doing well

 

Hopefully by now I've experienced the worst of the fatigue for this round.  It feels like, especially the evenings, are getting better.  I really enjoyed having my niece here for three days.  I kept expressing my concern over being such uninspiring company and for our house being so quiet, but after two weeks of lots of travel and socializing she was so ready for a quiet break that she was totally fine with it all.  We were a good match for each other this week, for which I'm grateful.  Good timing!

 

On the gardening front.. outdoors the temperatures have been fluctuating from minus 14 Celsius to plus 14 Celsius.  The plants seem a little confused.  Our kale, swiss chard, and multiplier onions are all sending up new shoots.  Some daffodils have decided to peek their heads out of the ground.  I'm really hoping for a good blanket of snow to insulate everything for at least another month or so. 

 

daffodils coming up already!

 

Indoors the first round of chemo seeding - basil - is thriving.  The beans that I put in for the second chemo round are still sleeping.  If they grew in proportion to the number of times I check on them they should be a few feet high by now!

 

And on the health front - it seems that the mass in my right eye is shrinking.  I am getting more peripheral vision around the mass and today I actually "saw" the contrast between Gerard's light colar and his navy sweatshirt!  So we like to believe that the chemo is shrinking the mass, both in area and in thickness. 

 

And I still have all of my hair!  I was told to expect fatigue and hair loss with this chemo.  I thought that if I would lose my hair it would be happening around this weekend.  So far this week only a few hairs have come out whenever I comb it.  Maybe it will only thin out like last time and I won't lose it all like I did with the radiation.  I've made it through the cold January weather with my own hair.  With spring coming up soon (I'm optimistic! - we'll see what the groundhog says tomorrow) , having a short, thin hairstyle won't be so bad.  I'm hoping!

 

The Milk Calendar's January recipe - brocolli, ham 'n Cheddar Strata  

 



This evening friends invited us over for some tiramisu - my favourite dessert! And they assured us that everyone in their house was healthy, so I wouldn't risk catching anything. It was wonderful to get out of the house, socialize with friends, and get pulled out of my vicious cycle of fatigue and inactivity.  Thank you, Lord, for supportive friends! 

* I'm going to click on "publish" before I lose all of this again!  Good night (morning by now)!