Spring on January 31st!

Today's weather was unbelievable! We shovelled about six inches of snow last night and it looked like mid winter.  Then today the temperature rose to 10 degrees Celsius, the snow was melting and it felt like spring here in Toronto!

doing a crossword puzzle  on the front porch on January 31st!

the daffodils and crocusses are showing on January 31st!

the sound of running water everywhere on January 31st!

Monday, Monday...

On Sunday evenings we often look to see what's up for the coming week and what else we hope to do.  No medical appointments or meetings this week, so the coast is clear for some more spring cleaning. Last week we got a good start on the office, but there's still plenty left to keep us occupied for another week.

I found the living room much easier to manage than the office.  It's interesting to see how Gerard and I work together (or not).  He's a slow and steady kind of guy who, over a span of time, actually gets things done. My work style, on the other hand, is to charge in with loads of energy and enthusiasm, work a bit, get overwhelmed and give up, with only part of the work completed.   Every year the same areas become overwhelming and remain untouched once again.  So now that I really want to get all these left-behind-areas cleaned up, there are a lot of decisions to be made about things that I've hung onto and procrastinated on for way too many years.  And I find that stressful!

university text books I haven't opened in 40 years

So last night we had a little chat about how we can manage to get this office done - slow and steady, in small manageable bits - maybe one shelf per day.  Grrr!!!  I want to do it all in one day, but know that's not going to work for me, so now I'm alternating between vacuuming, office clean up, exercising, office clean up, walk to return library items, office clean up...  We'll get the results I'm hoping for, slowly but surely.

Last week Gerard focussed on the computers; he moved our old computer out, cleared our current computer of the viruses, and is in the process of setting up our brand new computer - initializing programs and transferring files.  And I reduced a full drawer of files down to about a quarter of what I started with.  Lots of sorting and shredding.  What a journey down memory lane!  So many committees that I've served on in the past 10 years or so (Abuse Prevention, Personnel Committee, Transition Team, Diaconal Team, Youth Worker Search Committee, Community Opportunity Scan, Classis Toronto Renewal, Classis Toronto Diaconal Conference, Operation Manna...)  involving a pile of work!  So many hours spent on meetings, minutes, reports, recommendations, proposals...  so much paper!

Now I look at all these binders and files filled with issues and plans that seemed so important and pressing at the time, and their urgency is over or their time is passed and I just shred it all. Was it all worth it? I enjoyed most of it. I love partipating in committees, being in the loop, knowing what's going on in the bigger picture of any organization I'm connected to. But sometimes there's so much time and energy put into efforts that don't seem to go anywhere.

the amaryllis this morning

I wonder what God thinks when He sees us scurrying around so busy with our church work? Does it please Him? does it make Him sad or angry? Are we really serving and honoring and worshiping God with all this busy-ness? Are we even aware of God as we stress and scurry around "serving Him"? I'm wondering about that a lot as I now watch others do what I used to do, while I sit on the sidelines for a while. Sitting here is starting to give me a new perspective and I'm wondering what God has in store for me next.

polymer clay beads and penguin - made by friends visiting here yesterday      

Into a New Growing Season

I will praise you, Lord, for you have saved me from my enemies. You refuse to let them triumph over me. O Lord my God, I pleaded with you, and you gave me my health again. You brought me back from the brink of the grave, from death itself, and here I am alive!

(The Living Bible, Psalm 30, verse 1-2)

This morning we received more good news from our radiation oncologist at the cancer centre!  The MRI done a few weeks ago confirmed what we heard in August, that the brain tumors are still gone. The oncologist doesn't come right out and say that the cancer is gone, but he will say that my eyes are "unremarkable" and the rest is "stable" so, in other words, nothing has changed since August, no new cancer has shown up, so the brain tumors are still gone! Yahoo!

People asked me whether I was nervous about this morning's appointment. And honestly, no I wasn't. I just could not imagine that the doctor would tell us that the cancer is back. There were a few moments during the past two weeks when I suddenly thought, "What if they say the cancer has come back?". Whenever I feel the slightest twinge or pain in my head I wonder, "What if...?". But then I just talk myself out of the worrying because that won't change anything except give me a miserable day. All in all, I live with an incredible sense of peace and am so thankful for my health.

On the way home from our appointment we stopped by the garden centre for some seeds, to celebrate the good news. I guess not too many people were thinking about gardening with the snow and slush of this morning, because we saw no other customers in the store. But I was thinking of a new chance at life and that made me think of growth and gardening and seeds. Here I stand, at the beginning of a new "growing season", both literally and figuratively speaking. THANK YOU, LORD!!!

Our First Thursday Morning

Today is Thursday. So guess what we were up to this morning? That's right - we were watching L'il Oscar, our grandson.  We get to watch him every Thursday morning from now on! 

L'il Oscar - exactly 4 months old today



So warm and cuddly and relaxed.  I could have sat there and watched him like this for hours!

Everything is going into his mouth these days.  He's found his thumb and sometimes it looks like he's trying to shove his whole fist into his mouth.
   

And he's starting to reach for toys and they go into his mouth too.  He's fascinated by the face of the little person in the blue car.

Well, I've restrained myself to posting only four out of the twenty-some pictures that I took of Oscar today.  If we'll be there every Thursday there will be lots of opportunities to enjoy him again.

Looking forward to many more precious Thursday mornings.

The Joy of Flowering House Plants in January

After trying a number of different plants, I finally found something that would grow and is now flowering in Alida's little yellow boots planter. It's ready to go to her house when she gets back from her ski vacation. I rooted some pieces from a plant we had in the garden outside. Does anyone know its name?

This double impatiens is one of the plants I try to keep over the winter every year because I like the little rose-like flowers, and they are much more expensive to buy than the common impatiens so I grow my own. I will soon be taking cuttings from it and rooting them to grow more plants for the garden.

 
I found this new guinea impatiens at a farmer's market last May.  A little piece was lying on the parking lot.  It had probably broken from one of the large hanging plants they were selling, so I took it home, and put it in water.  Once it grew roots I planted it in our barrel on the back patio. And there it sat all summer doing nothing! I had envisioned a beautiful, lush plant full of flowers right in the middle of our barrel, but it didn't grow at all! Still determined, I transplanted it and brought it inside just before the frost this fall and since then it has really taken off.  And now here is the first flower! 

And this orchid just keeps thriving on it's own with no help from me at all. See the new shoot coming up at the bottom left?

And last, but not least, an update on the amaryllis... It grew about an inch per day for 16 days in a row and then slowed down for the last few days. Now it seems to be expending all its energy on opening the buds. The flowers are coming!

The joys of flowering houseplants in January!

Celebrating 36 Years Together

36 years ago, today

love those 70's colours - even the drapes are orange!



Well, it's been 36 years already!  We've been reminiscing all day and took a look through our wedding pictures. What a lot of fun we had that day, celebrating with family, friends, and The Lighthouse community!

We met at The Lighthouse, a Christian community centre in downtown Toronto, where I was working when Gerard was volunteering there. They had guaranteed marriage with the job, (yes it was actually mentioned at my job interview because the previous three workers had met their husbands there!).  I was sure it would not happen to me, but... I guess the Lord had other plans.

celebrating with The Lighthouse kids

We went out for lunch today. The food was healthy and delicious! Can you guess which lunch is whose?

NY bagel with cream cheese and smoked salmon (lox)

Panini crepes (bacon, cheese, eggs)

And then we bought each other some flowers.  We tried to get the same flowers we had for our wedding, but they don't sell the rusts, oranges and golds anymore, at least not at this time of the year.  I feel so blessed by these 36 years, and am especially thankful that Gerard walked with me every step of the way this whole past year! Thank you, Lord!

Our Computer has a Virus

As I turned on our computer to write a new blog post this morning, I discovered it has a virus, so the new post (or at least the pictures - and I had some flower ones for you to brighten up your day!) will have to wait until we get the computer cleaned up.

It's a rather wet and dreary day here today with the rain doing a quick job of melting the snow. I'm trying to get used to not wearing a scarf or hat in the house, but am finding it kind of chilly. maybe I just have to give myself time to get used to it or wait for my hair to grow a bit more.

My spring cleaning goal for this week is the office! We are getting a new computer soon! That upgrade has become long overdue. But with the way my brain was(n't) working last year, we didn't think I'd be able to cope with new software, so we delayed the purchase. But now I'm able to figure these things out again. A few weeks ago I was able to install the Feedjit counter on my blog all by myself! And then read the owner's manual for my camera - first time since I bought it over a year ago! So there is definitely progress and we feel confident that I'll be able to manage the transition to a new computer now.

With all the re-arranging of equipment involved, we thought we might as well dive right in and give the whole office a good sorting and cleaning while we're at it. Then once the new computer arrives, everything in the office will be up to date and organized (I'm hoping!).

Eco Friendly Furniture Polish

It now looks like winter here! On Thursday afternoon we braved the snow squalls to walk to my appointment. By the time we arrived we looked like snowmen - covered in snow from head to toe! We were dressed for the weather though, so really enjoyed the walk.  And that's how we get part of our exercise - leaving the car home and walking whenever we can.  A few weeks ago it only came out once, for grocery shopping. 

Well, I just achieved my spring cleaning goal for this week; the living room is all done! Plants are trimmed, furniture polished, papers and books sorted and purged, old encyclopedias and cassette tapes removed, curtains washed, spaces around and under the piano and shelving units dusted and cleaned.

Wow! I am so impressed! That's because I'm not a housecleaning kind of person. I'd normally much rather be out and about volunteering and interacting with people. But I've found during my experience with brain cancer, that my brain works better when things are simple and neat. My mind gets easily overwhelmed by too much stuff and too many choices.

So with this spring cleaning process, I'm trying to simplify things - and clean things too, of course. Actually as I'm looking around the house these days I'm so encouraged by how much sorting we've already done this year - because of the need to simplify. It feels great to walk through the house and notice, "Oh, I've already sorted that, and cleaned that, and checked through that." So it's slowly coming along!

In addition to trying to simplify things, we are also making some changes towards an even healthier lifestyle, including avoiding toxic cleaning products.  And so I looked for an eco-friendly furniture polish to use this week.  What I found is very simple to prepare and does a great job.  Measure two parts olive oil with one part lemon juice and stir.  That's it!  ready to go!  First dust the furniture and then using a soft clean cloth, wipe the polish on the furniture, following the grain of the wood.  Allow it to soak into the wood for a few hours.  Then with another soft clean cloth wipe up any excess oil and shine up the furniture.  It absolutely made the dry wood come alive!  The grain in the wooden furniture looks beautiful now! What a difference!

And this amaryllis just keeps growing, about an inch per day; 16 inches in 16 days so far. What colour do you think the flowers will be?  I already know, if the picture on the box was right, but I'll keep you in suspense until they open.

Still Collecting Rain Water for House Plants!

It's hard to believe that we're still collecting rain water for the house plants on January the 17th!   Our rain barrel usually collects water from our garage roof from about April through November.  Then we empty it and turn it upsidedown for the winter because otherwise it turns to one big block of ice.  But the weather this winter has been so unusually warm (8 degrees Celsius today) that we are still catching rain into our watering cans from the downspouts on the house.  The rain water is much better for the houseplants than the chlorinated tap water, even though you can let tap water stand for 24 hours before using it, just to let some of the chlorine evaporate.

still catching rain water on January 17th!



It was a dreary, foggy, wet day outside today. Not quite as exhilirating as yesterday, but I still got lots done - desk work this time.

this is what my desk looked like this morning

Now that I'm no longer spending my days on the couch, it was time to re-create my spot for quiet times and devotions, so I cleared off my desk today.  Because it's in our bedroom and does not house the computer, it tends to become a holding place for everything that I'm not sure what to do with from the rest of the house.  (I just noticed the radio on the picture - that definitely needs to be moved out of my quiet place!)   And sorting and cleaning off this desk also prompted me to complete two other projects today, that had been in process for a while at our computer desk down in the office: an updated family mailing list and writing up the minutes and organizing my files for our church's personnel committee. 

and here it is after the cleanup 

When starting this kind of work in December I still had trouble with organizing and processing everything and with spending time at the computer.  It's still stressful at times, but there sure has been a huge improvement in one month!  Just like yesterday,  I alternated exercising in the TV room with work at the computer (stress relief) which resulted in another very productive day.  Sure feels good!  Maybe tomorrow I'll get back to the living room.

Blue Monday? Not for Me Today!

According to this morning's news report today is referred to as "Blue Monday".  They say that by the third Monday of January people tend to feel "blue" because by now the excitement of all the holiday festivities has worn off, the days are darker and shorter, and it's also quite likely that you have broken your new year's resolution(s) by now.  So supposedly this is the day of the year that the most people deal with the blues. 

Well, my experience today defied those odds.  I had a great day!  The sun was pouring into our south-facing windows.  My early morning exercise left me feeling energetic and optimistic about the upcoming day.  After watching our mayor, Rob Ford, and his brother weigh in for his "waist loss challenge" (he's aiming to lose 50 pounds) I was inspired to face a challenge too, and suddenly I felt like starting in on some spring cleaning! 

potted a few impatients cuttings that had rooted



It's usually around this time of year that I catch the spring cleaning bug, at least for a few days, anyway.  If I don't take advantage of  it when it strikes, then it doesn't happen because once the weather starts getting warmer I'm out in the garden, with very little interest in housecleaning.  So, maybe I could do one room per week?  That would include sorting, purging, and cleaning.  I know I should really start in the basement because that's where the clutter seems to accumulate, and I've usually run out of spring cleaning motivation by the time the upstairs is done and then the basement gets left undone again.

But today I felt like doing the living room and the front entrance hall because the thought of the basement felt too overwhelming.  And I got a lot done, alternating between exercising downstairs and housecleaning upstairs.  It felt great!  First I cleared away the remaining cedar branches and Christmas cards, then vacuumed the whole main floor and washed all the floors.  Then washed the little Dutch lace curtains and that's as far as I got today. Yahoo!  A great start! 

re-hanging the clean lace curtains - see my hair?

We took advantage of the beautiful weather by walking to the bank and also the library to return and pick up some new books and exercise DVD's.  The racoons in our neighbourhood seem to be confused with this warm weather - they were out enjoying the weather today too.  Gerard saw one a few blocks from here early this morning and we also saw one in our back yard around dinner time. Aren't they usually hibernating in January?

  new selection of exercise DVD's from the library

So no Monday blues here today!  Just lots of energy, motivation and spring cleaning progress!  Thank you, Lord!

Budding Promise

These plants in our living room bay window are full of buds; a sneak preview of spring...

the amaryllis is really taking off - growing almost an inch per day!

the new guinea impatiens is full of flower buds

Moving Forward Into This New Year

So here we are, already eleven days into this brand new year of 2012! So many people wished me a "Happy New Year!"  sometimes adding, "May this year be better than last year for you!"  I know what you mean and I do appreciate all the good wishes.  At the same time, last year really was not a bad year for us.  It was a year with more disappointments, challenges, and changes than we have been used to, but also more blessings, healing, celebrations and growth.  Change and growth are not always comfortable and easy; and sometimes it was painful and difficult.  I sure wouldn't wish brain cancer on anyone else.  Yet thankfully I received a miraculous healing; we experienced times of unexplainable peace; lots of love and support from family, friends, our church community, and other people we've never even met in person.   And so all in all it was a year of intense living - which was wonderful! 

buddha hand - at Loblaws in the renovated Maple Leaf Gardens

Now I'm trying to figure out where I'm at after everything that happened in 2011. About a week ago I was optimistically telling people, "I'm done with being a cancer patient, I don't want to focus on cancer anymore and want to get on with life." And so I launched into all kinds of activities. So far 2012 has been great!  We've had family days in Barrie, Toronto, and Clinton - still part of the holiday season spilling over into the new year. 

two of my six brothers, my sister, and I

and with some of the in-laws

It's been wonderful celebrating my brother's birthday and enjoying my sister visiting from South Dakota, spending time with our children, babysitting our grandson, hosting my niece for a few days...  Since this experience with cancer, family feels so important and I just love spending time with family!

a blue maple leaf sculpture made of old Maple Leaf Gardens arena seats

My niece and I went downtown to see the renovated Maple Leaf Gardens.  On the inside you really can't tell that it used to be "The Gardens".  It's a huge brand new Loblaws grocery store, with a large red dot on the floor in one of the aisles marking "centre ice". 

the "cheese wall" at Maple Leaf Gardens

But after all the hype about it in the media, it was still fun to see it.  We also went to Nathan Phillips Square, Yonge Street, Allan Gardens, and the renovated house where the mission that I work for used to be located.

the back of the renovated mission house



All of this activity was very exciting!  At times I feel so healthy and "normal".  I mean... the cancer is gone, I'm feeling great, this is so much fun, I'm "getting on with life"...  and then with all the excitement I forget to have a nap... and then the next morning I'm in tears.  "What's wrong?"  "Nothing. I don't know. Just tired, I guess." My nervous system is still fragile, but I'm feeling so well that I keep forgetting that and start running ahead of myself. 

on the washroom wall of the church we attended on Sunday



This past weekend involved a lot of travel.  We had two great days with lots of action.  I loved it!!  But then for the next two days I kind of crashed out - no initiative for anything; just hanging around and even sleeping for two hours both afternoons, and again the whole night in between.  I'm obviously not completely recovered yet and am reminded once again that I really did have cancer, and that it will probably always affect my life in one way or another. Tomorrow I go for my first follow-up MRI and have an appointment on the 27th to hear the results.

So these days it's kind of two steps forward, one step back, two steps forward...  At least it feels like it's slowly continuing to go forward.  Forward? to what?  I don't know.  "Normal" life?  Whatever that is or will be for me now.  I'm trying to sort out where I'm at.  Where is God leading me?  Why did He heal me?  Some days I'm fine just going with the flow and other days I feel like I'm supposed to be discovering some grand new plan for my new lease on life.  We'll see how and where God leads.

Re-Visiting the Allan Gardens Conservatory

This weekend my niece Anna visited with us. We had a wonderful time doing yoga and pilates together, learning how to peel and eat a pomegranate, riding public transit and roaming around downtown, relaxing by the fireplace, and on Sunday we brought her back to her university town, giving us a chance to see where she lives and to attend her church together.

At Anna's suggestion we visited one of my favourite places downtown - the Allan Gardens Conservatory at Jarvis and Carlton, and just caught the last weekend of their Christmas flower show.

This Christmas "tree" is built with various kinds of succulent plants.  Below is a close-up.

There are six greenhouses filled with beautiful and interesting plants.

Plants like this just make me marvel at God's creation.  The one below looks as if a leaf has been painted onto another leaf!

And here's a wreath I'd like to try to make someday - at least, I'd like to try using dried apple and orange slices to decorate a wreath.