Reflecting on our Women's Retreat

Now that I'm reflecting on our women's retreat and reading through our discussion guide and Scripture passages I realize how little, if anything, I remember of our readings and discussions and of the exercises intended to help us process and internalize things. I'm disappointed about that. One of the reasons I signed up for the retreat was that I was expecting/hoping for some kind of intimate spiritual experience. Somehow that didn't happen for me. 

These days it takes my brain a lot more energy to cope with and process what's happening around me. Just adjusting to a new environment and routine takes all of my concentration and so to participate in conversations and immediately processing those thoughts and formulating responses takes a lot of quick mental aerobics. The cancer treatments have really affected those abilities. As a result, I find myself observing more than participating in group events. And that feels foreign to me; not being right into the discussion.

When I can get past the sense of  regret and disappointment about my limitations and thankfully live in the present, focusing on what I can do and who I am now, then I'm ever so grateful that I could participate in this retreat. I loved the communal meals, the hiking, the time just being together in a beautiful, safe, loving, supportive and encouraging environment. Thank you, Lord!

New Kind of Construction in Our Neighbourhood

There is a lot of construction going on in our neighbourhood; mostly small houses coming down and being replaced by million dollar plus monster homes. We have heavy equipment rumbling by our house all week long. However, on our Sunday afternoon walk in Betty Ann Bush we discovered this totally different construction project underway!

Our trail took us out of the bush into the west end of the York Cemetery. To our great surprise we ran across this new building project!  It looks like a Chinese burial ground. I think I'll take a walk over to the cemetery office one of these days, to find out more about it. It was hard to get a good picture of the whole thing, but you can get an idea of what's coming: arches, lions, dragons... What a surprise! Very interesting!

You Are God's Beloved - Retreat

Now that I finally have the collection of songs that we used at the women's retreat, I'd like to share some of them with you.  The theme of the retreat was "You are God's Beloved" and here is our theme song:

Your Beloved

Vineyard - by Brent Helming

Lord, it was you,

who created the heavens.

Lord, it was your hand

that put the stars in their place.

Lord, it is your voice

that commands the morning.

Even oceans and their waves bow at your feet.

Lord, who am I,

Compared to your glory, oh Lord?

Lord, who am I

compared to your majesty?

I am your beloved,

your creation,

And you love me as I am.

You have called me, chosen

for your kingdom,

unashamed to call me your own.

I am your beloved.

The coordinators of the retreat were so excited to find a theme song that matched the theme for the retreat! Now we've been asked to share about the retreat and sing our song in next Sunday's service.  

 

here's me straggling behind on our hike on Old Baldy

Our Beautiful Maple Tree

Over the 35 years that we've lived in this house we've had four different trees on our front lawn.  The old apple tree that we inherited with the house was falling apart and dropping mushy apples, so we replaced it with a white birch. That, and the mountain ash that followed it, both had to come down because of disease. Later we learned that both of those species were very susceptible to disease and were struggling to survive all over the city. 

            

             Our beautiful Green Mountain Sugar Maple

So for our next choice of tree we did our homework. Every fall I was "oohing" and "aahing" over the same beautifully coloured maples in our community, So I went around taking pictures and picking leaves from the ones I liked - the ones that will have some branches on the tree fiery orange and red, while other branches on the same tree are still green.  The contrasts are so beautiful!  I took the pictures and leaves to a nursery to be identified and then we bought that kind of tree - a Green Mountain Sugar Maple.  

Over seven years it has probably tripled in size and is looking very healthy and very beautiful. For the last few days I've been picking up some of the fallen coloured leaves and bringing them inside where we can enjoy them close up.  I think we've finally found a tree that will last for a long time and will provide beauty and bring pleasure to many of us in the coming years!

Have You Ever Seen?

This morning we went to the lab at the medical building for a pre-operation EKG and blood work in preparation for my cataract surgery in a few weeks.  Even in this boring and sterile environment I found some interesting things to share with you..

Everywhere we turned we saw posters like this.  That's the first time I've encountered ebola precautions here in Toronto. 

And then on our way out, on the parking lot we saw a car with what looks like eye lashes above both of the headlights!  Does anyone know if this is done just for fun or whether these spikes are for some other purpose?  This is the first time I've ever seen anything like this.

If you're looking for something beautiful or interesting, you can find it anywhere.  Keep your eyes open and you're sure to be surprised by something!

Retreat Weekend

Three days with eight of us women in a ski chalet near Beaver Valley. Three days of sharing, praying, singing, learning, reflecting, cooking, eating, hiking; three days of togetherness.  It was wonderful! I had hoped to share with you some of the Scripture passages and song lyrics of the weekend, but can't find any of the papers I had clipped together to take home.  My memory is such that I don't remember much of what I heard without some printed reminders, so for now I'll share a few pictures to give you a little peek into our weekend experience and the rest will have to wait until later.  

the living room where we had our study/discussion sessions

Those are the Beaver Valley ski slopes in the background

Grace and Hye-Jin getting as close to the edge of the cliff as they dared.

The rest hanging back at a safer distance from the drop-off.

Gradually getting braver and moving in closer to the edge.

God's beautiful creation!

Which trail shall we follow from here?

Nell and Beth on kitchen duty

Sharing one of many delicious meals.

It was a wonderful weekend of togetherness. I'm so thankful for the chance to participate in it!

Celebrating Gerard's 67th Birthday!

Today is Gerard's 67th birthday!  We celebrated the occasion by doing two of Gerard's favourite things;  hiking - a piece of the Oak Ridges Trail near Mary Lake (just north of King City).  

and eating - lunch at the apple farm, where we were a few weeks ago.

On the way there, we saw our very first  "turtle crossing" and... we actually saw a turtle crossing!, but because of  oncoming traffic we couldn't stop to take a picture. 

Despite the forecast for scattered showers, we had beautiful weather!  The colours on the drive there and back home were brilliant whenever the sun shone!  Absolutely beautiful! Ten minutes after we got home it poured! So adding to our celebration, we saw a beautiful rainbow! The picture doesn't really do it justice, but you get the idea - a bright complete arch against the dark sky, and at the end of the rainbow you can see a highrise all the way over on Yonge Street!

 Now the phone calls are starting to come. And there's a thunderstorm approaching, so I'd better get off the computer. We have had a happy birthday celebration so far.  Thank God for Gerard, and for giving him another year!

I Am Thankful for...

These days I'm thankful for many things that I used to take totally for granted.  Never gave them a second thought.  And now I'm consciously thankful for every day; the fact that God is giving me the gift of another brand new day!

I sometimes used to wish that God would send me something to wake me up out of my complacency; to liven up my faith life and help me appreciate and make the most of every day. And then we got the diagnosis of cancer. And it did just that!  My dad would say, "You have to be careful what you wish for."  But then again, my experience has been that we don't know what's best for us.  So I got cancer and my life has not been the same since.  I'm still learning to live one day at a time, and to be thankful for each day and what it may bring.

That's not always easy.  I tend to get off-track and self-centeredand feeling self-sufficient. I have to continually and intentionally ask for the Spirit to re-focus my thoughts to keep my eyes on Jesus, knowing that He is my Saviour and Lord, trusting him to lead me. And then living my life in thankfulness.

bouquet from Jeff and Alida

And so some of the things that I used to take for granted, and am now consciously thankful for:

* I am alive! I'm actually here, to be able to say, "Thank you!"

* Jesus is my Lord and Saviour and so I can experience forgiveness and hope and peace and joy, in the midst of all kinds of circumstances

* I can walk!  I can see! I can hear!

* I have people I love and who love me; a loving supportive community of family, friends, church community.

* I'm ever so thankful for Gerard, Henry, Melanie, Oscar and Charlie; Mark, Rosemary, and Hannah; and Jeff and Alida, and my dad, and my brothers and sister, and, and, and.... just too many to mention all by name.

In this season of thanksgiving, an especially big THANK YOU, LORD!

Thanksgiving Weekend 2014

Glimpses of our Thanksgiving weekend...

Friday morning's entertainment in the opthalmologist's waiting room.

We got a good chuckle out of this magazine cover

No new developments in my eyes, which is good news!  He sent us off with, "See you in three months."

Friday evening: A friend invited me to attend the "Julie Madly Deeply" musical with her at the Pantages Theatre.  One pianist and one singer/actor played and sang through the history of the life of Julie Andrews. A relaxing evening of lighthearted entertainment.

Saturday: We hosted the whole family for Thanksgiving turkey dinner at our place.  Everyone contributed something which altogether combined into festive and delicious  meal.

Just like I had always hoped it would be someday...the grandchildren coming over to Opa and Oma's house, playing with the toys that their parents played with thirty-some years ago.

I was too busy enjoying everything and everyone, to take any more pictures.  So, imagine a bustling kitchen, the smell of turkey roasting in the oven, a group in the living room enjoying appetizers with a glass of wine, another group sprawled all over the floor of the playroom playing with the little kids, and a dinner table set for 11 including a highchair and booster chair and fall decorations, - being filled with traditional Thanksgiving dinner food: turkey, stuffing, cranberry sauce, mashed potatoes, green beans, corn, squash, home baked bread...  Later followed with apple and pumpkin pie with ice cream or whipped cream. What a blessing to enjoy this family time together!

Sunday morning church service - I had to cancel out of nursery duty and choir because I had a cold and lost my voice, but I still got to attend the service. In the afternoon we enjoyed a walk to and through Betty Ann Bush - a walk we often did with our kids on weekends.    

walking in Betty Ann Bush

On Monday we attended a Thanksgiving Day service at our church.  It was too bad that I still couldn't sing. What's a special service without being able to sing? I really missed it!  Fortunately my cold is starting to fade. Again, I'm so glad about the timing of this cold, because I'm registered to participate in a women's retreat at a ski chalet next weekend and will thankfully/hopefully be fully recovered by then.   

Display of beautiful fresh produce at church

Look at the display of beautiful fresh produce at the front of the church this weekend!   There was a lot more to the display than this; Large pumpkins and gourds and lots of flowers too - plus all the bags of non-perishables that people brought for the food bank at The Lighthouse. Such an abundance!!!  

During the service people were invited to share their thanksgiving with the congregation. There was such a beautiful variety of blessings that people shared!  I was tempted to go forward, but didn't trust my emotions, so I didn't.  But if I had I would have said something like, "I'm just so thankful that I'm still here, able to give thanks!"

And now it's Monday evening already - almost the end of a very rich and wonderful Thanksgiving weekend. Thank you, Lord!

Second Experience with Spaghetti Squash

The front door bell rang, the door opened, and Surprise! there stood Jeff and Alida holding a beautiful looking spaghetti squash.  Alida had read about our disappointing first experience, so this motivated me to give it another try (soon).  One of you asked for my recipe, but I don't have one.  I just loosely followed the instructions that came stuck to the squash and combined that with things I read on the Internet.  So here's what I did:

1.  First step is to cut the squash in half. I learned from our first try the the shell is really hard to cut, so this time I washed the squash, poked slits in it with a knife (to prevent the whole thing from exploding), and cooked it in the microwave on high for about eight minutes. Let it cool off until you can touch it and then cut in half.

looking much better than the last one!

2. Remove the seeds

3. Drizzle some olive oil (1 Tablespoon?), and sprinkle some parmesan cheese, black pepper, and salt  to taste.

4.  Cook another five minutes in the microwave (or you can put it on a tray with some water, in the oven)

5.  Test its readiness by scraping the flesh with a fork to break it into strands.  If it comes loose easily, continue removing all of the "noodles".It yielded 4 generous servings. Way too much for one meal for us.

 6.  Then top with spaghetti sauce, parmesan cheese, or however you normally eat your noodles.  I also read that you could put alfredo sauce on it. Whatever - just use your imagination.

Just don't expect to have the exact same texture or taste as you would with pasta noodles. We found the "noodles" to have a very mild flavour. I think I cooked it too long because it turned out more like blended squash instead of noodles. When I was reading about preparing this squash on the Internet, one person said her kids complained that her "noodles" were too crunchy.  So I have a feeling I really overcooked ours.  Oh well, I'll keep trying. Both of us liked the meal and to top it all off - it's healthy!

What Are You Reading?

There's a lady in our church who is an avid reader and she often opens a conversation with, "What are you reading?" She is well read and is looking for recommendations.  It makes me feel like I'd better be reading something worthwhile to share with her, just in case she asks.

During my cancer treatments and the months following, I didn't read much because my eyes couldn't focus on the print and my brain could not process the train of thought expressed by the words. It was all just words.  My eyes and brain tired easily. That has all improved a lot with the help of cateract surgery and so this summer I was able to get back into some pretty serious reading.

I often marvel at  the ability of people who come up with an idea or train of thought that they want to communicate, and then are able to organize it neatly into a framework that, step by step, clearly articulates their message. And the vast vocabulary they use is amazing!  It was a challenge to get through some of the sentences even.

rose hips at the apple orchard

So what have I been reading?

It all started with my desire to hear the stories of people who have struggled with their sexual identity and how to integrate that with their Christian faith.

The first book recommended to me was "Torn - Rescuing the Gospel from the Gay vs. Christians Debate". by Justin Lee. I read it through twice, because my brain was still recovering and it took a lot of concentration to read, but normally for anyone else it's probably an easy read.  Justin Lee is a Christian pastor who is gay. In this book he shares his journey of realizing he is first of all a Christian and also gay.  He examined his own experiences, heard others' stories, searched the Scriptures, prayed a lot, and agonized over whether or how they could fit together in his life?

The second book floating around in our church community is called, "Generous Spaciousness- Responding to Gay Christians in the Church" by Wendy Gritter.  Wendy is director of a ministry called New Direction.  She is a Christian and is straight. When she first started her ministry there about ten years ago, she believed that gay people could be healed from their gay orientation.  In this book she chronicles her journey to realizing that people do not choose to be gay. With much prayer, she has come to a place of "facilitating conversations in the church to equip leaders and followers of Christ to navigate the reality of a pluralistic  cultural context in the interaction between faith and matters of same-sex sexuality."  Wendy has preached in our church and was coming to facilitate an evening to introduce her ministry of New Direction.  So I wanted to read this book before she came (and I finished it 15 minutes before the meeting!).

The third book came to my attention by way of a talk show on CBC radio.  The title is Understanding ASexuality by Anthony F. Bogaert.  In addition to the homo-sexual, hetero-sexual, and bi-sexual orientations there is also the less talked about asexual orientation, describing humans who lack sexual attraction or interest in sexual activity. (Wikepedia). I had never heard of that, so I put the book on reserve at the library and read it.  I ound it a difficult read because it is basically a write-up of research he has done. But it was very informative, tracing the history of the changing role of sexuality in different cultures over the centuries. And also relating the stories of some people who identify as asexual. This book is written from a neutral (not Christian) perspective.

The fourth resource (that we watched) is a 6-part video series of sermons by Dr. Charles Price of  People's Church in Toronto: "Gender and Sexuality" It is available in a podcast on I-Tunes.  I found his perspective very balanced and Scriptural.

I find it challenging to absorb information that is different from the values I've always grown up with, especially when these views are also backed up by biblical teachings,  but at the same time my faith life is being challenged by the question, "How as Christians, should we then live? The greatest commandment is, "You shall love the Lord your God above all, and your neighbour as yourself." After all this reading I feel convicted by God's Word, raising the big question for me, "How are we, as a Christian community, living out this commandment in relation to our Christian gay brothers and sisters? My mind has been very busy with these questions and thoughts.

So to lighten me up a little, my friend recommended a very light book about some seniors in a nursing home who wanted some excitement in their lives.  One of them had seen a movie set in a jail, and saw that the prisoners appeared to have a much better quality of life than the seniors in their home.  So they escaped from the seniors home with their canes and walkers and committed some crimes that would hopefully land them in prison where " life looked much greener on the other side of the fence". Very light reading compared to the other books I've been reading recently!  Kind of  a relaxing change of pace.   So what are YOU reading?

some very light reading!

Babysitting Charlie

On Sunday we got to babysit Charlie all by himself at our house for the very first time.  He sat in the Winnie the Pooh high chair that we received as a gift from my parents when his daddy, Henry, was born. He played with the Fischer Price toys that his dad played with. I've been saving these things for a time exactly like this; when grandchildren would come to play at our house some day. And we are blessed with that dream now being a reality (three times over!). 

Most of our toys have been waiting for this day for over thirty years!  Some of them have deteriorated over time, their plastic has become brittle, I had already sorted the baby toys before Oscar was ready for them.  Now he's moving on to toys for toddlers, like dinosaurs and farm animals. So in sorting through that box I found plastic cowboys and Indians and soldiers, with guns and feathers and bows and arrows. Wow, how times have changed! I no longer feel comfortable with the images portrayed by these toys so tossed them into the garbage.  From that box I only saved the cowboys with their horses and lassoos and all the farm and jungle animals. 

Charlie relaxing with Opa

And Charlie was so easy!  We really enjoyed having him at our house all by himself.  There were a few moments when he seemed to realize that he was in an unfamiliar environment and he looked a little unsure of himself. But Gerard has a very soothing effect on children and he had Charlie relaxed in no time. Yes, Gerard has a very special "Opa touch", he's quiet and happy and relaxed with the little ones and they seem to feel secure and relaxed with him. 

What a blessing that all three grand children live right here in the city so we get to spend time with them regularly and really get to know them well.  

Fall Colours Day Trip

Last Thursday we headed out of the city to see some fall colours in Caledon's Hockley Valley. Unfortunately on the drive out it was foggy and hazy, so we could see that there were colours through the haze, but nothing like the brilliance we had hoped for.  However, the forecast was for sun in the afternoon, so we first went to Pine Farms Orchard where we picked and ate apples, saw lots of pumpkins, and enjoyed a delicious lunch in the cozy relaxing little restaurant/gift shop.

Then we headed for the Hockley Valley Provincial Nature Reserve and walked a piece of the Bruce Trail there.  We traditionally go there at this time of year.  It felt so good to be on the familiar trail. I love the smell and the beauty of the forest!   It is so relaxing and so healing and nourishing for the soul...

I took so many pictures. that I had to pick and choose, restraining myself to showing only a few. There was beauty everywhere; beauty beyond description.  I'll let  these pictures do the talking.

  Just as we were leaving the trail the sun started coming out, highlighting the colours which became more and more brilliant as we went along. 

So much beauty! What a wonderful day out together!

Our First Experience with Spaghetti Squash

Inspired by our daughter Alida,who prepared spaghetti using spaghetti squash for the "noodles", I felt challenged to try it too. So we bought a spaghetti squash and on Saturday morning it was on the kitchen counter, ready to go.  I was excited to try something new. Gerard's reaction was a little more reserved, although he was at least willing to give it a try.  

The first instruction on the sticker on the squash was to cut it in half. That's easier said than done, but I managed.  When the halves fell open I was really disappointed to see that it was spoiled. It went straight into the compost bucket. Too bad! I thought you could keep squash for quite a while, but I guess not this kind.  We obviously weren't going to find out what spaghetti squash was like that day, While I was disappointed, I think Gerard may have been secretly relieved that this experiment would be postponed for a while.  So that was our first experience with spaghetti squash.  

this doesn't look too good.  

Found this cheerful North York General Hospital fundraising poster in the waiting room at Branson Hospital. 

Early Morning Treasures

"I came across some mushrooms that you might like to see. They're just around the corner," Gerard announced as he came in the door from his early morning walk. I ran for my camera, slipped into my jacket, and  my Crocs and headed out to find the mushrooms. 

Since I was all dressed for the outdoors I decided to check around our own property to see what was new that morning and here's what I found.

 nasturtiums

All of these beautiful surprises right in our own back yard!

Bringing the Garden Indoors

It's that time of the year again; time for some fall clean up in the garden.  I've got most of the vegetable garden cleaned up and Gerard has started spreading the compost on it.  I pulled the decorative gourd vines, sunflowers and some of the tomato plants out last week.  The Rose of Sharon seed pods have been cut off.  I'm working on weeding and edging the flower beds. It's getting there. 

These amaryllis and daffodil bulbs have been sitting dormant in a shady spot behind the house all summer. Now that they are starting to show signs of life, I've brought them inside where we can enjoy watching their revival. 

 amaryllis bulbs

These daffodil bulbs did well indoors last winter. It looks like they're sprouting new growth again!  I'm not really sure whether these particular bulbs are to be forced indoors or to be grown outdoors. We'll see how they do indoors again this time.  

daffodil bulbs

I wasn't planning on bringing very many plants indoors this fall. But... the begonias are finally thriving, after sitting there doing nothing all summer. I didn't have the heart to leave them out there to freeze to death just when they're looking so healthy. So I compromised by bringing in only two geraniums, two begonias, and one ivy. I'm sure that by the time mid winter rolls around we'll enjoy this splash of colour in our living room's bay window.  

red begonias and pink geraniums