Wedding Plans!

Today I was totally immersed in wedding plans! Very exciting! Jeff and Alida are looking at a fall wedding, so plans are already rolling along. Today four of us went out looking at wedding dresses.
 

L-R: me, Alida, Cheryl (mother-in-law), 

Melanie (sister-in-law) with son #2

Alida registering at the bridal shop

Not too many people shopping for wedding dresses on Friday morning!  In fact, we had the whole place and staff to ourselves. So we could relax and have fun, take our time and enjoy.    

that's all of us reflected in the mirrored doors

Seeing Alida in a wedding dress made it all seem so real, and when she put on a bridal veil it brought tears to my eyes.  Alida is getting married!  After the shopping we had lunch together at our place.  It was fun to meet Jeff's mom for the first time and to get to know Jeff better through his mother's stories.  Alida ended up staying most of the afternoon just talking about wedding plans.  It's really happening!  So exciting!

Church's Anniversary Celebrations Begin

 

A lively Praise and Fellowship evening last Saturday kicked off a whole series of celebration events scheduled between May and October, in honour of our church's 50th anniversary. Former organists, pianists, and other musicians who served in our church over the 50 years all participated in this evening of celebration and praise.  What a great way to start off the festivities! Lots of memories and lots of praise!

 

 

Another expression of celebration is a banner project.  All members of the congregation are invited to take one of these canvas pieces, decorate it and add it to the line.  Some have been done at home, others in Sunday School classes, and there are going to be some banner-making workshops as well. The first  completed banners are starting to come in.  The goal is to surround the whole auditorium.They were first on display for the praise service.  Here is a sampling of the ones that have been brought in already.  

 

 

 

 

Alida and Jeff are Engaged!

Good news!!! 

Alida and Jeff are engaged!

We are so excited to see them so happy together and to welcome Jeff into our family! 

 

"He asked and I said yes"

 

We've been bubbling over with excitement with this good news for more than a week already, but were under strict orders not to say anything, especially on Facebook or in this blog, until they had personally contacted certain people first.  Which is only fair since it's their news to share first.

 

But it's so-o-o hard to keep a secret like this!  Just like with the baby announcements;  they tell us as parents first, but then say, " We wanted to share the good news with you, but don't tell anyone else yet, until we're three months, or until we first contact our friends in person," or whatever.  So I was very relieved to see that both Jeff and Alida made their big announcement on Facebook this morning.  That gives me permission to finally share the good news here too. 

 

We are overflowing with blessings in the family; a second grand child expected in July, a third grandchild in September, and now the announcement of Alida's engagement to Jeff!  So much to look forward to!  So much to be thankful for! Thank you, Lord!

No Firm Diagnosis Yet

This afternoon we went for my MRI.  I had misunderstood or incorrectly assumed that we would also be told whether last Saturday's numbness in my face was bell's palsy or not.  Instead, we were told that next Monday, June 3rd, we have an appointment with the neurologist from the ER who ordered this MRI.  We're assuming he will then tell us whether this MRI has ruled out that it was a stroke, or something to do with lymphoma, or whether it is bell"s palsy, as they suspect. Now that the MRI is over I start on steroids for about ten days to treat the palsy (whether they know I have it or not)..

MRI Appointment on Monday

Just a quick (honest, I promise!) update.  We have an appointment for an MRI on Monday afternoon.

In the meantime I am learning how to eat and drink with a lopsided mouth,  my vision is not the greatest so I'm trying to find things to do that don't involve the computer or reading.  Gerard was nice enough to read a chapter out loud from the book I was into. We went for a walk.  I slept a lot, I listen to the radio, we had friends stop by for a visit and there were some phone calls, and I did some exercising.  Looking forward to Monday and getting a diagnosis -maybe even some steroids to give me some energy.

It's been kind of a disappointing and discouraging week in some ways.  At the same time we have spent a lot of great time with the family this week.  Despite some disappointing circumstances we continue to find our strength and hope in Christ and so are not totally down in the dumps.  Now it's time for bed.  Goodnight!

Bell's Palsy?

This is going to be a very quick update, because I can hardly see the computer screen.  Straining to see it gives me a headache. 

Life can just change in a matter of minutes.  On Saturday we were planning to do some May-long-weekend-gardening.  Instead, we ended up spending the whole day in the Emergency Room at Sunnybrook Hospital.

In the E.R. all day Saturday (wearing my security-blanket-sweat-shirt and hat)

 

It all started at breakfast on Saturday.  At 7:05 I started out by drinking some warm lemon water and everything was fine.  Fifteen minutes later I started drinking our vegetable juice and it felt as if I had just come back from the dentist with my mouth still partly frozen.  What's going on?!  I've had some numbness in the left side of my face before, as a result of allergic reactions to various things. After waiting for a while to see if it would go away on its own, taking an allergy pill, and no change we called my sister and our oncologist-on-call.

 

Next thing we knew we were on our way to the ER just in case this was a stroke.  To make a very long story shorter, they did all kinds of tests including a CT scan.  Their tentative diagnosis is that it is bell's palsy, but they want to rule out a stroke and any connections with my lymphoma. Even though it is best to start treating the bell's palsy with steroids asap,  they need the MRI results before starting any treatment that might change the appearance of what is going on in my brain before making a firmer diagnosis. 

 

 Happy Birthday, Rosemary!

 

So right now we're just waiting for a (rush outpatient) MRI appointment- hopefully tomorrow.  So please pray with us that we'll get an appointment very soon. And then they want to run of number of other tests as well. 

 

In the meantime, my mouth is a little lopsided, it's tricky to drink and eat without drooling or spilling, my left eye doesn't want to stay closed so has to have eye drops and lubrication lotion and be taped over at night to prevent it from getting too dry.  Unfortunately this is my good eye, so when it's taped over at night, I can't see much of anything.  Good thing I'm sleeping almost all of that time. 

 

The kids were very concerned about what was going on so all came to the hospital.  Alida was working so just came down a few floors and got to quit work a few hours early .  We spent most of the day together and then again yesterday for Rosemary's birthday and a belated Mother's Day celebration.  So once again lots of family time!  There, once my eye got adjusted to the computer screen, this turned out to be easier (and therefore longer) than I expected.

 

Please pray for an MRI appointment for as soon as possible and for trust and peace for both of us.  This is a rather disappointing, tiring and anxious time. We have done a tiny bit of gardening and lots of resting.  We appreciate your ongoing support!

May Long Weekend Gardening

It's been a low-key week once again, with not much energy or inspiration for anything.  You'd think after last Friday's good news, that the cancer is in remission, I'd be jumping around in relief and excitement and thanksgiving.  Spring is my favourite time of year and I'm usually dreaming and planning for the garden and spending hours out there every day.  

 

interesting colouring - don't know when or where we got them

 

But this year I have been more overwhelmed than inspired by the garden.  I never realized how much work and exercise a garden is.  When you love something it doesn't feel like work, but now that I'm physically totally out of shape and low on energy I realize that it's much more demanding than I realized.  So except for the first spring cleanup, I've just let everything grow - and it has grown!  

 



I didn't like these light tulips when we first moved here 35 years ago. 

Now they're my favourite!

 

On our walk last night I suddenly realized that I have been neglecting some of the five daily activities I had prescribed for myself (and Gerard reminded me once again that it's only been a few weeks since my last chemo and I need to give myself time to rest and recover).  No wonder I have been dragging and lying around most of the week!  We have been eating healthy and walking every day and just last week I got back at daily exercising again.  So that's a start and it does seem to help with the fatigue factor.  I also need to be socializing more.

 

However, I have also neglected my personal devotions.  I can't quite find God these days.  I feel confused about not feeling more excited and thankful for the good news of my remission.  I'm really not feeling anything these days, except fatigued.  I miss the assurance that I'm daily walking with God on this cancer journey.  What happened?  Somehow I've lost focus - keeping my eyes on God.  

 

"black" tulips

 

So today I started the day off with good healthy food, devotions, exercising, and then... gardening!  The May long weekend is the big gardening weekend around here because on average there should be no more frost after this date.  So I had gardening on the brain, but just didn't feel inspired at all.

 

I decided to use a strategy that works when I find a big task overwhelming.  Instead of endlessly procrastinating, break the job (I never would have regarded this as a job before) down into small manageable parts.  The whole garden really doesn't need to be all cleaned up in one day.  

 

So today I picked our smallest flower bed and was out there with my lawn chair and little stool slowly working away at it.  I sat and looked at the garden more than I actually worked in it, but the first flower bed is all cleaned up! And it was a much better day than I've experienced for a while!  Happy May long-weekend gardening to all you fellow gardeners out there!

Back to Our Traditional Thursday Visits

Now that little Oscar is back from vacation, no one is sick, and my treatments are over, we finally had a chance to see little Oscar again today, and I have a few pictures from this morning to share with you. 

 

Watching the big crane and trucks across the road with Opa.

 

As usual, we went to the playground.  For most of the winter we practically had the place to ourselves, but today it was packed!  Oscar took a special interest in this riding toy and clambered in and out of it over and over again.  So cute to watch him open the "door", hop in, use the steering wheel, and then hop out again. 

This time we took the stroller along again, so that we could plunk him in it to go home.  Last time we didn't.  When it was time to go home he was pretty tired so we had to carry him home part of the way, but he's getting too heavy for us to that anymore.  It was fun to see him again. 

In Remission Again - O Happy Day!

crab apple blossoms in our front yard

 

Good News!!!  We heard this afternoon that my cancer is in remission again!  According to last Friday's MRI, the cancerous lesion that was in my right eye before is all gone.  (There is still some scar tissue making my vision blurry, but the cancer is gone). The MRI report said that "the eyes are unremarkable".  Coming from my husband or a friend, that might not be considered a compliment, but hearing that from our oncologist was the very best news ever!  

 

I was so nervous going into the clinic today, wondering what kind of news we would get and how we would respond to it.  Well, when we heard the good news, I was stunned.  I just sat there and couldn't find any emotions.  It just felt unbelievable!  On our way home, while texting the kids with the good news, I finally felt like I was starting to breathe normally again.  Once home, Gerard sent out e-mails and I made some phone calls.  The good news gradually started registering and I'm starting to feel excited.  Wow! the second time that the cancer is in remission!  Thank you, Lord!

 

our front yard is showing off all its colour in celebration with us

 

I was kind of dreading this day, thinking I would be all nervous and in tears, but it started off great right from the start.  I went out early to sow some spinach, swiss chard and lettuce seeds before it started raining.  And sure enough, just as I was finished it started drizzling.  Perfect for the seeds!

 

view from our living room - crab apple trees in full bloom

 

Then the mailman delivered a package - our denomination's brand new hymn book.  I flipped through it quickly, but will need to take a closer look some time soon.  

 



our denomination's new hymnal - hot off the press

 

Back outside, in the rain, I harvested our first bunch of rhubarb.  We are already celebrating our good news with freshly baked rhubarb apple crumble.

 



from the garden straight into the oven

 

We called my dad and brother to share our good news,  They were just on their way home together from visiting my brother Jeff, in London.  And their good news was that Jeff is doing well.  The light fever he had last night is gone.  The next number of days are still very critical, but so far he is stable, and doing well, all things considered.  Lots to be thankful for! What a happy day so far!







Even the Hairs of Your Head are Numbered...

Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground outside your Father’s care. And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. So don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows. (Matthew 10:30)

 

This morning's self portrait. I still have hair left after all the chemo!

 



Every time I hear this Scripture passage I have to chuckle. My hair thinned out with the first round of chemo a few years ago, completely fell out with the ensuing radiation, grew back in curly at first and gradually got straighter, and now thinned out again with this second round of chemo. How could the Father possibly keep track of the number of hairs on my head? He must really care very intimately for each one of us!

I am so-o-o-o thankful that I did not loose my hair completely this time.  As it thinned out day by day, and the surviving hairs grew longer, it started looking really wispy and it parted in unusual places showing how thin it was getting.  But I just didn't have the heart to have it cut, even though I knew it would look better shorter.   

Before today's haircut

 

And then a member of our church, a retired hairdresser, announced a fundraiser for our church kitchen renovations.  She offered to give haircuts and will donate the money to the new kitchen!  What a great idea!  So this morning Gerard and I went to support the cause.  We enjoyed a cup of coffee and visit on her balcony and then both got our hair cut and made our donation.  

 after today's haircut

 

I should have done this weeks ago!  It feels so much better and looks thicker even though it's shorter than before.  I knew this would happen, but like I said, I just couldn't bring myself to having any of my precious remaining hair cut off.  The deed has been done and I'm relieved.  Wonder how long it will be before my new hair starts growing in?  When I completely lost all my hair from radiation it took three months before it started growing back. At least now I still have some to tide me over.  So thankful for my hair!

Explosion of Growth and Colour

Between last Friday and Sunday there has been an explosion of growth and colour all around us; just in a matter of two short days! Fruit trees are suddenly full of blossoms, the green leaves opened up overnight, and perennials are doubling in height every day.
 

these bright large red and yellow tulips come out first

 

Most years, after the crocuses, scillas, and daffodils are done, the first tulips to bloom are the large bright yellow and red ones. (I like to think God created them that way because after the dreary winter we are so ready for some bright colours!) A few weeks later the other softer colours (pink, purple, off-white, light yellow, black) and the fancier varieties come out.  This week, with the sudden spike in temperatures, all the different tulips are in bloom all at the same time.  Very unusual!

 

the fancier varieties like these double tulips are usually later

Switching to the health front: the most common greeting I hear these days is, "How are you doing?"  I never quite know how to answer that.  My initial impulse is to say, "Fine!" and all things considered, I am fine. So just a quick update.  I've been sleeping a lot this past week - often a nap in the morning, again a 2 or 3-hour nap in the afternoon and then I sleep again all night long.  It's the predictable low-energy stretch of the chemo cycle following my last treatment. However, this time I seem to be more tired than all but one of the other cycles. 

My fatigue doesn't give me a lot of motivation or energy to do anything.  I'm trying to exercise and walk every day.  Getting the blood circulating seems to help. I'm reading a book about a 60-yr.-old woman who is trying to prove to herself that she is not "old" yet, by driving around Australia all by herself.  Great entertainment and a good distraction from thinking about Friday too much. 

 and the softer colours also come out later, usually

 

This coming Friday's appointment with our oncologist is kind of looming over us. Will we hear that last week's MRI shows that the cancer is all gone or is there still some there?  And if there is, then what?  I have my teary spells about that.  Mostly we are living one day at a time in relative peace and continue to pray for complete healing. 

 

While we're talking about praying, would you please pray for my brother Jeff, who will be undergoing major surgery (about 6-8 hours) tomorrow afternoon (Wed. May 8) at about 1 pm. Thanks for your continued support!

The Circle of Life

I've been thinking and talking about death and dying and living a lot this week. On Monday evening I received two phone calls from friends - one to tell us that her brother died the night before and half an hour later from another to let us know that a very close friend of my parents also died the night before.

A third friend has been posting daily installments of a novel she has written called, "Minnie Goes to Heaven".  Every day Gerard reads the next portion of the story out loud to us and it is making me think about heaven and what it would be like to be there.

At the same time we've also been thinking and talking about life, with two new grandchildren on the way and also with me feeling so well, trying to live and make the most of each day, one day at a time, while wondering what the MRI report will tell us next Friday. 

we're surrounded by signs of new life in the garden 

 

On Tuesday we went to visit my brother and my dad.  On the way there we stopped at my mother's grave to check out the plants we put in last fall.  The bulbs came up!  She would love them!  Once at my dad's, we talked about my mom and then my dad's friend called to tell him his wife died the day before.  We reflected with him on life and death.  When people have lived a long, fulfilling life and are looking forward to meeting their Lord, then death is just a natural part of life.  It's hard for those left behind, but for the one who died, they couldn't be in a better place.  No more illness, no more suffering; my mom and her friend were both ready to go. 


flowers at my mom's grave

 

Well, today we experienced the circle of life in a small way.  I had to be at the hospital at 6:30 a.m. for an MRI and then blood work.  Our daughter, Alida, who works at that same hospital, was still there on night shift. We had arranged to come a little early to meet up for a quick tour of her workplace. So I am very happy to have seen Alida at work in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU)!  Now I can picture where she spends so much of her time.

 

She was in charge of two babies for the night.  We couldn't see the first baby because the incubator was completely covered with a blanket to make it feel more like the dark womb, I guess.  But we saw the second one, I believe it was at 26 weeks, the same size as Mark and Rosemary's baby. Amazing! So tiny to be living out on it's own, but much bigger than I expected Mark and Rosemary's baby to be already! 

anemones in the front flower bed 

 

So today we had a taste of the circle of life.  We started the day off seeing a prematurely born baby and moved on later in the day to a joyous celebration-of-life-service for someone who passed away at 79 years of age, after a good long life well lived. A week like this made me reflect on life and death and living. I tend to shy away from thinking and talking about death and dying, but it's really all a natural part of the circle of life and when you think about it that way it doesn't feel so invasive and intimidating.   

Walk around the Block

Today's been a low-key day. I hardly did anything except nap and hang around. Maybe because it's my low energy time and also we were out of town all day yesterday and had good visits with my dad and my brother. In other news:the peas came up today; lots of tiny little seedlings!

Something has changed in this blog program and all of a sudden today I couldn't access my pictures. After about three hours at the computer, we finally figured out a very round about way to get the pictures into this post, but I have no idea how to do it again. Hopefully we'll figure it out tomorrow. Here are some things I saw on a walk around the block yesterday...

the dandelions are out! 

 

leaf disposal bag - very clever logo, don't you think?

new growth everywhere