Plans Changed Due to Unexpected Circumstances

Hi from my new little corner at Sunnybrook. It feels really different being here my second time around. I knew what to expect, what to bring, and where to find things. There were familiar faces on the staff and it kind of felt like being welcomed back to the club.I'm in a 3-person room in the first bed so no window this time. That brings with it the activity in the halls and from the nursing station. I can hear a lot of the discussions at shift changes. So much for patient privacy!

The weather was a surprise too. We gradually heard how bad it was out there as the staff started arriving. Little things become big priorities in here. Like getting a chance to take a shower and I got a top-of-the-line IV pole this time compared to the one I had last time that had one wheel that kept getting stuck and that caused the whole pole to tip over easily. My bed is really comfortable and this time I learned how to use the side table that you can swing over your bed. Discovered that it has drawers and a mirror in it.

Another thing that has been encouraging is that I can really tell how much better I'm doing than the last time I was here. Then I had trouble getting dressed, especially with sleeves, and my mind wasn't very clear. Now I'm totally independent and am not even getting as tangled up in the IV tubes and pole.

The day started off with great expectations of having my second round of intravenous chemo plus a lumbar tap to put chemo right up my spine into my brain. I was excited about how clear my brain was today and I was actually reading a book!

And then all of a sudden both of my hands started tingling and getting really itchy. My blood tests had shown I was low in potassium and they had planned on giving me potassium,but hadn't yet. And then more and more weird things started happening and more doctors and nurses were called over with monitors and ECG equipment and I thought I was going to die of a heart attack or seizure. It was scary and next thing you know a full-blown pan nick attack , like one I've never ever experienced before. They weren't going to do lumbar puncture or any other chemo, for that matter.

Instead the afternoon turned into a number of interviews with the psychiatric team to get to the root of these panic attacks. I was feeling very vulnerable and emotionally fragile and now exhausted. There is more to this story,but I'll save that for tomorrow and will try to get a good long night of sleep. Goodnight! They're hoping to do the chomp tomorrow.


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