Gearing up for the Second Round of Chemo

So we're in holding mode at the moment waiting for a room at Sunnybrook. The doctor requested a room for today (Tues. Mar. 22), but so far there is still one person ahead of me in line. So today we have to call again early afternoon to see what's happening. Oh, we just found out from the hospital that we're to come in at 4 o'clock today. So that means they'll start the IV this afternoon with fluids to protect my stomach, kidneys, etc. from the chemo and then tomorrow (Wed) will be the actual chemo by IV. This round I'll also be getting two spinal injections, and then they start flushing the chemo out of my system through IV fluids. Once the level of the chemo medications is down to a given level, I will be allowed to come home, probably on the weekend sometime.

In the meantime I took full advantage of my week of energy last week, as you have already read in previous posts. It was great! I feel so "normal" on those days! Like on Saturday we went grocery shopping, I cooked and baked while listening to the garden show, vacuumed the house, and then in the afternoon we went hiking in one of the city ravines with new friends from our small group. A great "normal" day!


It turned out to be a very exciting and (actually too busy) weekend. Friday night was small group. Our group is growing in community. We are getting to know each other better and had a time wonderful casual socializing over dinner and then had a very special studying, sharing and prayer time again. Our group is growing together and we are becoming like a little family to each other.





Sunday was filled with special events. Our missionaries visited our church, preaching, and leading music. They shared about their work during a potluck lunch. And in the evening we attended a surprise party for one of our small group members. By that point I had reached (passed, actually) my limit and was totally exhausted!


Yesterday I experienced my very first Healing Touch session at Wellspring. According to the brochure, "healing touch is a contemporary interpretation of several ancient healing practices - a consciously directed process during which the practitioner uses the hands as a focus for facilitating the healing process. The intervention is administered with the intent to enable people to re-pattern their energy toward wholeness and health." It was amazing! So relaxing! I felt as if I was floating when I came out of there and was allowed to spend some time in the blue room to just continue enjoying the relaxation and to transition back to going home. I love this sunflower painting in that room! And I have an appointment for another session in a few weeks! Looking forward to it. That Well Spring centre is amazing! relaxing! and I love it there!



Actually since last Thursday I've been starting to feel some effects of the chemo. Things like sensitive feet and hands and mouth, and my hair is slowly thinning out. I'm almost finished with the steroids (1 mg per day until tomorrow) and so no longer quite as hyper. This is also making me deal with reality a bit more. My emotions are kind of all over the place and tears have been very close to the surface the last few days. It doesn't take much or anything serious to set off the tears. I've had my moments the last few days, wondering what a second round of chemo will do to these symptoms. Will my mouth be sorer? So bad that I can't eat? Will the bottoms of my feet become so sensitive that I can't walk? Then yesterday afternoon I experienced some unusual symptoms. I was thinking about them pouring more chemo into my body the following day. If my mouth, feet, hands, breathing passage, etc are burning now, what's it going to feel like in so I called our primary nurse. She couldn't really fit them into a pattern and wondered whether I might be having an allergic reaction to something. She recommended we head over the Sunnybrook's emergency and get it checked out. I immediately jumped to the conclusion in my mind that if it was an allergic reaction, it was to the chemo. So if I'm allergic to the chemo, I won't be able to have chemo, so how can they treat the cancer? etc. etc. I went to find Gerard and started panicking because my mouth was getting all dry. I threw my stuff into a bag and we drove to Sunnybrook with me becoming more and more anxious and going into a full-blown panic attack. By the time we got to the ER I was like a crazy woman, crying and pacing and feeling like a total fool. Anyway, I eventually calmed down, we waited for a doctor for hours, then waited for blood results and ended up back home at midnight. All for a panic attack! All for being anxious!

I'm finding that now that my steroids are down to 1 mg a day, I'm not quite as hyper as I was and am starting to live more in the real world, after flying higher than a kite for so long. I feel calmer most of the time, except when I take the one of two pills a day that I'm still on. The steroids and chemo do seem to mess with your hormones and emotions. But all in all it feels better to live on a more real level.


Life has been going on with more normal things too. Gerard's back to his daily garbage pick-up. We've done some spring clean up in the garden, I've picked some forsythia branches and they're already in bloom, I scrounged up willow switches and made a spring wreath for our front door and have actually been doing some reading this week! - a little at a time, but it's so good to be able to read again!


The vegetables in the living room bay window continue to thrive. Look at the size of the pepper plants already! They were to represent my Chemo Round 1, so now I'll have to decide what to grow for Round 2.

And look at this! We even got a tiny serving of green beans from the plant in the bay window!

All right. It's time for lunch, to water the plants and to get packing for the hospital. Time to sign off for now. I'll try to keep you posted as best I can over the next few days.

Thanks for all your prayers and support! Love, Ellie